‘Tis a Malay proverb that means “if you love your children, teach them with force”. Or perhaps a more emotional version of this proverb is “if you love your children, hit them!” *doesn’t sound too nice, now, does it?*
I had my memories of this blessed proverb back when I was a kid. My dad used to hit me with almost anything that he can lay his hands on, but most of the time he used his palms to give me a slap or two on the face. I will expect this kind of treatment everytime i made him angry, or everytime I went on overboard + over the limit.
It was a black memory indeed, I never did understood why he did all those things to me. The fact that I was quite ignorant of this specific Malay proverbs too, did not help. Well, I was a really rebellious kid back then. I think I deserved to get some slappings for the constant “why’s” that I threw at my dad everytime he ordered me to do something I don’t quite agree.
And as I grow up, I had this deep hate brewing inside of me. I hate people who hit their kids, even if the purpose is educational, I think it is wrong for the mental and psychological developments of their childrens. When I went to boarding school, I used to hate this one particular teacher, who thinks that he is the most powerful diciplinary teacher in the whole world, using the rotan stick as his weapon against students. I used to imagine that one day, when I am grown up, I will be a lawyer and take him to court and sue him for power misuse.
Questions arose in my mind – just how efficient is the use of canes and palms of hands in the effort to educate childrens? Are childrens animals that need to be tamed using violent force? Can’t they just be advised using words? And there’s this one Malay proverbs too that says “Kepimpinan melalui teladan” – literally translates to “Leadership through actions”. Can’t they educate their children through their actions?
I am an observant young adult, but I used to be a rebellious teenager. Every time somebody tried to give advice to me, I’ll judge them first if they are good enough to give me advices. Or else I wouldn’t care a bit.
Childrens are soft spots that needs to be educated through an extensive range of psychological maturity. We can’t hit them if we feel mad. This will result in a chain reaction – the beaten kid will beat his kid in the future. I can prove this quite effectively – my grandfather used to beat the hell out of my dad.
Having childrens is a huge responsibility and one must have clear consciousness to raise them well!
Good luck mums (i know some of you are reading this :p) raise your kids well and shower them with love all you can…