One very happy Friday afternoon, I’m lazing away in front of my laptop, accompanied with a cup of tea to sooth my stomach and absorbing the cool-warm breeze of the summer’s weather.

I’m doing what I usually do - replying messages on myspace or friendster or reading people’s blog (particularly Amir Hafizi’s or Wan Zafran’s) and just when I wanted to comment on one of these blogs

WHAM!

Услуга предоставления интернета приостановлена

вы исчерпали свой трафик или у вас отрицательный баланс

узнать информацию о состоянии вашего счета и использованного трафика вы можете на www.ava.net.ua в

разделе «статистика»

–> Which basically means “your internet is cut off you lazy ass, this is what you get for late

paying your internet bills. now cry and weep as i laugh watching you dig that empty wallet to pay

for the internet, you loser.”

Oh yes, the internet line in the ukraine can be pretty “rough” sometimes. hehe.

I said WTF?!?!? The internet line is cut. It’s off. Because I didn’t pay my bills.

Omg i think I started to get crazy. I stood up walking around the room wandering aimlessly at what i should do now. Then my mind started racing if the internet office is still opened so i can
pay the bill now and get my internet tonight so i can chat with my loved ones and do whatever i
normally do with the bloody internet.

I started thinkin what if that person trying to message me in MSN and i am not online? Would i miss that special message? omg omg omg i’m sooo overwhelmed with worriness and anxiety…

I looked out the window and saw cars passing by, the traffic busy with passerby walking around at the small market below my apartment. And then it dawned upon me: do all people suffer this anxiety attack, just like me? What do “normal” people do without internet? Don’t they get bored? Don’t they get depressed and troubled? Urgh omfg their life is sooo00oo boring! Definitely! Internet is everything - you can do a million million things with the internet, it’s like the ultimate anti-boring and anti-depression thingy created by God (in my case it’s Allah, in ur case it’s Jesus or Yahweh or Buddha or whomever you worship-lah) for human being for the new millenium.

Then again, it dawned upon me that they don’t need the bloody internet to survive. They are
definitely not dependant on the internet. They have their loved ones - wives, husbands, kids,
lovers, pets to look after and love whenever they feel down. (deep inside i’m overwhelmed with envy)

Which, technically, translates to “irzan you’re a loser because u depend on the internet and u don’t have someone to love”.

Oh well. The only way to get OUT of this is to get yourself someone to love. Someone to care and whine (and for some people someone to eat their crap whenever they feel like they want to become the master of universe and someone to clean after their assholes).

Of course, this theory is completely useless if you have your loved ones connected via the internet too (which again, falls to my category).

I had decided that I won’t be controlled by this thin line they call broadband. It’s too stupid,
don’t you think so? The line cannot control you! You control your own life! You are the very master of your life and it doesn’t make any sense at all to be controlled by a line!!!!!)

And so I survived for 30 minutes and grabbed my wallet and went to pay the bill.

Congratulations Irzan, you’re so pathetic.